The Story of Petey... Part Three

Maybe someday I'll be able to forgive myself.

(for Part One click here)

(for Part Two click here)

Here I was, ONCE AGAIN, on the spot, forced to make another major decision. Talk about pressure. While Petey was under anesthesia, "Crazy Cat Lady" called me at my workplace to tell me that he was FIV positive, but otherwise "in very good shape; healthy, robust, and could have another ten years of life and that it would be a shame to put him down," (according to the veterinarian). The original plan had been to neuter and release Petey with the agreement that I would continue providing him food and shelter, but all that went out the window with an FIV diagnosis. Having so many other cats, I didn't know how I would isolate him, but I knew I would figure something out... I HAD TO; I wasn't about to kill him!

Herein lies the rub...

During this phone conversation, Crazy Cat Lady told me that Petey only had FIV. But in actuality, he also had FeLV... just like Brutus. This makes sense, considering all the bloody battles they shared between the two of them. When she handed over the medical form written out by the veterinarian, I couldn't read it. His handwriting was terrible! But it looked like it said FeLV negative. I even asked my own personal vet later on what it said and he corroborated what this lady had told me. But they were both wrong. And I was wrong for not asking the original vet, PERSONALLY, what the form said. Knowing the history of Petey and Brutus, I questioned the diagnosis, but my own vet told me what I wanted to hear and I chose not to investigate further. I trusted him.

After some time, I found out that FIV isn't as contagious as we've all been led to believe. A deep bite wound breaking the blood barrier must occur in order to get FIV, so if everyone gets along it isn't a problem. (Plus, Petey had all his teeth removed and was incapable of biting anyone.) What is a problem is FeLV, which is highly contagious through saliva. But being unaware of the FeLV, I eventually let Petey around my other cats, thinking I was doing something good. (Now you can understand my reaction when my new vet set me straight on his actual diagnosis.)

So, as you can see, IT'S MY FAULT that Mama Mae and Stir Fry tested positive for FeLV. It's my fault that my sweet Mae is no longer with us, and I still can't look at her pictures because it hurts too much. Stir Fry is my other beloved furmember who tested positive and he is estimated to be about eighteen and a half years old, as of the time of this publishing. Thankfully, aside from the arthritis, he's doing great! I'm amazed at how well, actually. You'd never know he has kidney disease or FeLV. We just love on him everyday and give him whatever he wants.

No matter how many beloved cats come and go throughout my life, it never gets easier to say good bye. Petey was certainly no exception. On Saturday, April 16, 2022 (the day before Easter) my husband and I took Petey to emergency because his left front leg had swelled about three times the size of his right. His appetite hadn't been so great for a while and his noticeable weight loss had been causing me concern. So when I noticed this sudden, unusual swelling which seemed to come out of no where, I was worried. Of course, now looking back, I can see he had been showing signs of pain, but it wasn't enough to really alert me to any serious trouble brewing inside his body.

Having to go to Easter dinner at my mother's was a challenge in its own right, but now I had Petey's health weighing on me and absolutely hated leaving him home alone for a day. (Why these things always seem to happen during holidays, I'll never know.) But I knew there wasn't anything I could do and presumed he would be sleeping for most of the day from the pain meds the emergency vet prescribed until I could get him to his regular vet.

That Tuesday I was able to get him in to be seen and the vet was stumped. She had no idea what was going on and prescribed meds for inflammation. I hated treating symptoms without knowing the root cause, especially considering how high the bill was. By Friday I had been syringe feeding for a couple days to get nourishment into him (he wouldn't eat on his own anymore). When I finally woke him up for his feeding, I noticed how weak he was upon pulling him out of his new refuge, the closet. But what really alarmed me was seeing how white his nose and gums were, hardly any color left in them. I knew that was a bad sign... a sign of anemia.

I called the vet immediately and told the girl at the desk what was going on and that, "It didn't look good." Her response was, "What do you want to do?"

I didn't like that question...

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

Seriously, I didn't know what was going on with him... Is this something that can be treated? ...or is he dying? I don't know! Why is there suddenly no color left in his nose and gums? I was certain to relay all of this back to her and then began to sob profusely...

"Can you please hold while I speak to someone?"

Now on hold, I'm forced to listen to annoyingly uplifting, classical music as I pace back and forth. I look over at my sick kitty each time I pass by, who has now curled up in his daddy's dirty pile of work clothes underneath a table... Then the music stops...

"You can drop him off today..."

I could drop him off ASAP. They would run tests to assess his condition in order to then determine the next plan of action. I hated the thought of leaving him there and cried out to God, "I don't want to leave him!"

When I got there they waved me into a room and let me stay all day as they did different tests on him, allowing me to hold him in between. Praise God.

But then came the revelation about what we were really dealing with and I suppose we all know the rest from here.

I would have never been ready to say goodbye, but I knew it would be selfish to force him to hang on for my sake. I'd rather he go out purring in my arms than hang on in agony. I still miss him, deeply. But I truly believe he's waiting for me in eternity, with all the others, and it will be the most joyous of reunions...

Petey - April, 18, 2022

I still haven't forgiven myself for ignorantly exposing all of my cats to this deadly virus. But I'm just so relieved that they ALL didn't contract it! Only two out of the six tested positive. I've since taken in three more stray cats (that makes five that turned out to be from next door, but that's another story for another time) and two that belonged to my mother-in-law (RIP). The newest feline residents stay separated from all the others, four upstairs and six downstairs (sector one and sector two, ha ha). And EVERYONE has been vaccinated for FeLV (except Fry, of course, and the latest two, but there's really no danger of them making contact with the upstairs cats.) The three that live upstairs with Fry all tested negative, thank God. They have been living along side him their entire lives; there's no sense and no possible way to keep them separated now. So we vaccinated them as an extra precaution and pray they stay negative, which I think they will.

Live and learn, I guess. That's all I can do... and cherish the time I DID have with Petey and Mae.

Petey and Mae say goodbye.